By Sarah E. Coleman
New Year’s resolutions aren’t just for humans. We’re sure our horses are creating their own resolutions, as well—we can only hope they involve being good, not BAD. Here are some of the resolutions we hope our horses are making for 2017:
- I won’t spook at the mounting block that my human just got on from.
- I won’t refuse to put only one ear forward for selfies, win photos or other candid shots.
- I will not leave if my rider makes an unplanned dismount.
- I won’t try to eat from my bucket while my human is still hanging it in my stall.
- I won’t pretend to not hear my owner calling me on the coldest day of the year.
- I won’t roll in burrs when I know my owner is on a short riding timeline.
- I won’t become magically sound when the vet comes out to see me.
- I won’t strategically step on my owner’s foot when she girths me.
- I won’t come in from the field looking like a mud monster, then refuse to walk through a puddle on the trail.
- I won’t try to jump out of the dressage ring.
- I won’t try to poop on my person’s head when she’s picking out my back feet.
- I won’t immediately shiver when my owner takes off my blanket to brush me and ride.
- I will not sneeze on my human.
- I won’t pull off my brother’s blanket every.single.day.
- I won’t wipe grass on my owner’s show coat.
- I won’t be dramatic when I have a rock in my shoe.
- I will try to make it out of the show ring before I have to move my bowels.
- I won’t turn up my nose at the expensive supplements my owner buys.
- I won’t turn feral after three days off.
- I won’t stand by the waterer and act like it’s frozen every 10 minutes in the winter.
- I won’t close one eye and pretend there’s a hair in it just to get out of work.
- I won’t dump over the wheelbarrow every time my stall is cleaned.
- I won’t pretend I am starving if I am supposed to get ridden around feeding time.
- I won’t bite the farrier’s butt when he is working on my front feet.
- I will not pull my shoes off right after being reset just because I can.
